pookie loo- alive and sober!

Omigosh guys- I'm afraid I have much drama to report.

Wait...I have to poop...









I'm totally back! Alright, well, if you're paying attention, you'll see that my last post was made over a year ago. Yes, unfortunately, the rumors were true; pookie loo has been in rehab.

Don't get me wrong- Wonderland was, like, the rehab center in West Hollywood. 300- thread count Egyptian cotton sheets and parrafin wax treatments by the pool. Way luxe. And Britney and Lindsay? Don't even get me started. But rehab was totally hard. First and foremost- whose leg do you have to hump to get a vodka tonic in that place? They were total Nazis about that kind of thing though...I think it was one of the steps- I don't know. For Christ's sakes, I'm a fucking dog not that guy from A Beautiful Mind. As if I can remember all that crap. Then there were the trust exercises...I had to lead Alec Baldwin and Kim Basinger's Yellow Lab around blind folded-poor guy, they're in this, like, totally ginormous custody battle over him- do you know how that ended? With my ass getting humped, that's how. But hey, in rehab, action is action.

Anyways, now I'm back home...the Owner is totally pumped. She won herself a daytime Emmy while I was away (I was so bummed I couldn't accompany- I had this killer red frock by Marc Jacobs specially made) which has greatly increased her Hollywood clout. In fact, she's getting ready to meet with some director at Table 8. I don't know who he is. Some Jew...

I'll be back soon with more gossip, life advice and hump-stories!

xOxOx (OMG- I missed you all soooooo much!)

*pookie loo* <3333

Aspen is good for the soul, the hair and the loins

Oh what an amazing week. The owner and I trekked up to Aspen for some skiing and gluttony with friends and family. It was a totally beautiful time. Lindsey Lohan and her boy/manfriend stopped by. I was so excited I almost pooped myself! In fact I did poop myself. How many pomeranians can say they've pooped in front of Lindsey Lohan? Not a lot, that's for damn sure!

The slopes were beautiful...of course I didn't go outside (my delicate paws make skiing nearly impossible although I have an adorable pair of BCBG ski boots that I NEVER get to wear) but the view from the suite was quite nice. Nothing quite like being able to enjoy the sloping mountain scenery while lapping Cristal from a herringbone dish while a smarmy masseuse rubs you down with hot oils. Bliss...bliss...

Of course Thanksgiving itself was a total nightmare. The owner's family came out to Aspen from Ohio bringing their backwoods, hillbilly sensibilities with them. *sigh* Aunt Marnie brought a photo album full of grisly photos of her gastric bypass surgery. Not as bizarre as Carnie Wilson in Playboy...but certainly horrible. By the end of the dinner I'd counted 6 references to Gretchen Wilson, 4 seperate discussions of the Camaro T-top versus the convertable, 7 overt testicle-scratches and 3 racial slurs. All in all it was both enlightening and engaging.

Now all is back to normal in Beverly Hills. The owner and I were lazing about Rodeo Drive today (I was in my Chanel carrier...not the most comfortable but undoubtedly my favorite) and were accosted by what we thought was a homeless person begging for money. It turned out only to be Nick Nolte but for god's sake, put some pants on!

*sigh* only in Hollywood...

xOxOx,

Pookie Loo <3

Trendy sluts

Oh what a night. I just finally got let out of my bedroom to witness the havoc downstairs. The owner decided to throw an impromptu gathering in honor of her being selected for MTV cribs (I am totally going to have to have my highlights retouched...and have my anus waxed). But yeah...apparently things got a little out of control...all I see down here now are casually discarded ecstacy pills and unconscious, spread-eagled supermodels nuzzling up on Paris Latsis and that kid who plays Fez on the seventies show. *sigh* What's up with that kid anyway...he looks like he should be working in the kitchen at the Ivy. Can we say creepy?

Well I'm like totally pooped out. And I have to poop...if I can't find the owner to let me out I think I'll just poop on the seventies show kid.

kisses <3

Pookie Loo

Pookie Loo loves Koi

Mmmm...how Pookie Loo loves her lattes. The owner was walking me today (in the most darling strappy bottle-green alligator Manolo Blahnik's---totally decadent) and I ran into an old friend in front of Koi on La Cienga. Mimi- Andy Dick's miniature Schnauzer. We were friends way back when...you know...pre-Newsradio.

Anyways, while the owner was pretending to be interested in Andy Dick's ambitious new directing project, I got a good look at Mimi. She used to be cute but now looks like a skeletal wreck. Obviously putting that Pamela Anderson Roast money right up her nose. What a shame. But not a total loss- Andy tossed me a half-eaten piece of salmon and endive sushi before heading down to the Kitson boutique for some man-acessories.

Oih. Sorry my first entry is so short...I have to run off to get my pedi done by a strange-smelling Thai woman.


*Pookie Loo*